


You Tell On Yourself Between Every Word

by killyourstarlings



Series: A View of the Garden [5]
Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, it's all in the past, read the tags be careful, truth cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20453003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killyourstarlings/pseuds/killyourstarlings
Summary: “Lilith, this isn’t funny,” Zelda shot back fresh after swallowing, voice a little grainy.  Sympathy colored her gaze over Lilith; she bit into her lip.  “I can’t be around you like this — you’re… drunk, and under a spell, and incredibly vulnerable.  It wouldn’t be right.”But Lilith began refilling Zelda’s glass as though she weren’t speaking at all, her focus settled entirely on keeping the liquid in the glass.  “Okay.  So catch up.”(Lilith accidentally eats some of Hilda's truth cake.  Zelda decides to eat some with her.)





	You Tell On Yourself Between Every Word

* * *

_ So you seem to think you’re invisible _

_ You’re so far from silhouette _

_ You tell on yourself between every word _

_ And leave all this room for me… _

\- “Butterfly” by Kehlani.

* * *

She was fun to watch.

Drunk Lilith carried a particular duality to her movements, and her every muscle followed to the letter — sluggish, yet finicky in everything, perfection the metric. Her clumsy wrist fixated on slow-stroking crumbs off her plate one at a time; her shoulders slumped over the kitchen sink, head bent in focus, back taut. She was pressurized, especially in the company (or the mere landscape) of the Spellman family — but even now, in the sacred locks of self, she stood rigid.

The plate clinked to the sink and she jolted with the noise, buried under the running sink. Still, she gleamed in her own perfection — her hair fallen a tad messy about her shoulders, her back sloping like dew on leaves. Crickets chirped, and night shone through the window to outline her frame as her perfect ass turned away, just out of view…

Lilith jumped from her bones at the sight of Zelda, hand to chest as if to keep her heart in place — releasing a pierce of a squeak, as though a mouse had met its demise at her shoe. Zelda jumped, herself, and wrenched back a giggle at the sound…

Lilith scowled. Zelda put on sympathy for size.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You did,” Lilith assured her, drawing a wiry breath. Her white knuckles relaxed around the faucet. “Did you need something?”

Zelda shook her head, grinned to herself. “Just looking.”

A curl of her lip, slowly worked down from anxious biting — and Lilith peered through her lashes, a hint of filth in her gaze. Zelda lounged royal in the doorway, blinking her up and down.

“Have a good night?”

“No,” came popping back, surprisingly forthright for Lilith, “but then I had some alcohol, and now it’s a great night.”

Zelda hummed, glanced over the scene to find evidence of her tale — a half-full glass of wine and a half-empty bottle set on the counter, curiously close to the edge — all the trademarks of a Lilith. She lost one low chuckle.

“I’m glad.”

Lilith relaxed into a smile, and squealed the faucet to a stop. Finally, silence — not the sound of a soul except the crickets and the occasional creak of Sabrina stirring upstairs. The night was theirs, to drink away as they pleased.

Barefoot across the tile, Zelda toed out a barstool to its low cry. “Bring a glass?”

“Mhm,” Lilith hummed, already on her way with stemware in hand. No sooner did Zelda find her seating, did the glass tickle the counter, before Zelda caught it and collected her serving…

Lilith’s gaze lay affectionate on her as she poured. “Tired?”

“Not really,” Zelda admitted, eyes gone round in focus. Blood red pooled in her glass, splashed up at the sides and left flecks in its wake. Zelda licked her lips. “I’ll be up a bit longer.”

“Mm, lucky for me,” sang Lilith, who  _ stretched _ across the counter, stellar and broad. Her brows bounced suggestively at Zelda, bruising a blush to her cheeks.

“If  _ that’s  _ on your mind…”

“Always.”

“…then I should probably eat something,” Zelda finished, and set the bottle aside. “I’m starved.”

A second breathed air before Lilith started upright. “I’ll fix you something.”

“Oh, Lilith, you don’t have to-”

“I’m right here in the kitchen; I might as well-”

“So am I! Come sit down-”

“-some leftover cake in here…” Lilith tugged the fridge open, head diving inside, never again to be seen. “Absolutely delicious — had two pieces, myself…”

Zelda’s lips parted to argue with her; but she sighed it out, gone for a sip of wine instead. She allowed Lilith to root through the fridge, and to do as she loved to do — serve. Though it did send Zelda mad, sometimes, how easily Lilith turned to servitude and how infrequently the treatment was turned on her. She, herself, tried to serve Lilith’s needs — pick up after her before she got the chance, and bring a coat whenever it slipped her mind…

Lilith’s head popped up, a hum to herself, something large in hand. “All right. How big a piece?”

“Just a small…”

Zelda’s voice trailed off, though, when Lilith revealed the cake from behind the refrigerator door, all set with a big grin on her face and eyes that spelled more hunger of her own. The cake itself did look delicious — a distinctive icing, a familiar color — Hilda’s creation, certainly, Hilda all over.

“Oh, that’s Hilda’s truth…” Zelda began, though she swiftly ran pale.

Her stomach dropped, then, as she looked up to Lilith — her eyes wide and a bit murky, and strikingly innocent, as if under the influence of magic. She considered the bluntness of Lilith’s tone, and thought back to what she’d been asking her — blanched with horror.

“Cake,” she finished, occurring to her to finish the thought. She cleared her throat, measured her voice. “Lilith. Did you eat that?”

“Yes,” Lilith said instantly, as though she were forced to say so. Her expression sank to depths. “That was a truth cake?”

“ _ Yes _ , Lilith — oh, hell…”

Zelda set her glass down with a clack, head sinking into her hands at the realization that Lilith was currently under a spell — violated, without her even knowing, and continually to be violated for the next several hours. The circumstances seemed to sink onto Lilith’s shoulders, then, as the cake platter clattered to the countertop.

“I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t know,” Zelda reassured her, and lifted her head to face her. She took up her glass and sighed mournfully. “I just… I think I should go to bed, then, until this wears off.”

Lilith’s brow furrowed as Zelda polished off her glass. “You can’t leave me here alone, all drunk and horny. It’s rude.”

“Lilith, this isn’t funny,” Zelda shot back fresh after swallowing, voice a little grainy. Sympathy colored her gaze over Lilith; she bit into her lip. “I can’t be around you like this — you’re… drunk, and under a spell, and incredibly vulnerable. It wouldn’t be right.”

But Lilith began refilling Zelda’s glass as though she weren’t speaking at all, her focus settled entirely on keeping the liquid in the glass. “Okay. So catch up.”

Zelda huffed at the idea, hands burrowing into her hair. “Right, and eat the cake, too?”

“Yes,” Lilith said reflexively; a natural request, as if she weren’t asking Zelda to undergo a spell for shits and giggles. She seemed to recognize her own flippancy, after a moment — paused, sucking at her lip. “I mean, maybe. If you want.”

Eyes narrowed, Zelda leaned forward to catch Lilith’s wandering gaze. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” again, right away, no choice in the matter. Lilith blushed at herself, handed the glass to Zelda, who accepted gratefully and downed a great deal at this whole ordeal. Her head spun a bit after, but she didn’t mind the distraction.

And looking her over, truthfully, Zelda was hesitant. Lilith clearly wasn’t herself right now, though Zelda may have envied her that vacation; she carried herself with a lightness, but every word thudded out of her mouth, an invasion of her own privacy. These were the only fair options, to leave or to eat — and Zelda didn’t want to spend her evening alone.

So, to her own chagrin, Zelda eased back into her seat.

“All right,” she surrendered, biting her cheek. Lilith lit up, and instantly reached for the cake knife — but Zelda took her hand. “But we stop when it hurts, all right?”

Lilith recoiled. “It hurts?”

“Not the cake, the- no. If we get too… deep…”

Reaching again for her hand, Zelda waited until Lilith offered it to her. She squeezed Lilith at the palm, turning it over for inspection, for distraction. Her voice lowered to gravel.

“If someone says something they don’t want to. Then we stop, all right?”

Lilith’s frown morphed into something more cautiously excited, almost too quickly, a genuine tinge to everything she did. It was almost adorable in its innocence.

“We stop,” she agreed, head bobbing. “Sure.”

“We stop.”

“Easy.”

* * *

Once midnight had long gone and left them behind, they found themselves settled, a pair of chess pieces knocked over — queen and queen lounged cozy on the couch, barefoot in the vestiges of their day, with the vague taste of firewood and leftover cigarette smoke settled in the air. Two heels rested on the coffee table; Zelda’s arm stretched along the back of the couch and behind Lilith, who curled up at her side all affection, legs strewn across Zelda’s lap. Spellman china trembled lightly on Lilith’s shines, swirly trails of icing still left behind as Zelda tasted her final faint bite…

A grin formed around the tines of her fork, then, as she noticed Lilith’s staring. Her head turned at Zelda’s shoulder, gaze locked up through her lashes — on Zelda’s mouth, no less. Zelda bit down on metal.

“What?”

Lilith blinked distractedly at her lips, hardly collected herself in time to cut a smile, soft. One hand swept up to cup Zelda’s chin — suspended her there in space, as if for inspection, before swiping a thumb over the corner of her mouth. Once satisfied, she gave off a grin. “You’re a mess.”

Zelda’s fork clinked down; her eyes widened in protest. Lilith visibly grappled with a chuckle.

“Oh,  _ I’m _ a mess?” questioned Zelda, and sank back in her seat. She gestured to Lilith. “Look at your neck.”

Brow furrowed, Lilith arched her neck to examine herself — tugged diligently at her collar. “What about my neck?”

No sooner were the words said than did Zelda divebomb Lilith’s neck, burrowing below her hair and attacking her with loud kisses. Icing smeared everywhere, to Lilith’s strange but audible delight; she hummed her laughter, stretched her neck to give Zelda better access. Down Zelda traversed, along to the sensitive hollow beneath her jaw…

“Hm-  _ ha _ -”

“Mhm?”

“Mm…” and a  _ pop _ , Lilith releasing a thumb from her mouth, sucked clean of sugar-grain icing. A deep sigh followed out. “Who’s next, again?”

“It’s your-” Zelda cut herself off with a kiss to Lilith’s neck — and tarried there, swimming in the scent of Lilith’s shampoo. It stole the breath from her lungs, left her a tad short on oxygen. “Oh. You were next.”

“No; no, no,” Lilith mumbled, shaking her head. “ _ I  _ was next.”

“No, it was- yes, that’s what I said. You’re next.”

“So I’m next,” she clarified, hand to chest, giggling to herself. Throat cleared, she tried again. “Goodness, what could I ask? So many…  _ options _ -”

“Stop giggling and ask a question!”

“You’re tickling me!” Lilith complained, and tried to muster up a straight face. “Zelda-”

Zelda nibbled at her like a treat, little wet kisses pebbled up her neck and arching under her ear — taking no time in her trek and salt-and-peppering her with affection until she’d been reduced to a mess of laughter. Lilith’s head curled up against Zelda’s cheek, beaming so tight she couldn’t keep her eyes open, cheekbones skyward. Only once Zelda started sucking at her earlobe did Lilith drop a moan…

And she drew away, hands pushing at Zelda’s shoulder, denying herself the attention.

“All right, stop it, stop,” she chided, shoving Zelda off — tossing a finger toward the other end of the couch. “Get over there. Go.”

To her chagrin, Zelda did back away, but with a wide grin full of pride for drawing Lilith down to need, and in a matter of moments. Her hands found surrender. “Go ahead.”

“All right,” Lilith said, batting lashes at her. She wiped a hand at her neck, quietly cleansing herself of the icing mural Zelda had made of her. “Hm…”

Zelda watched with curiosity as Lilith ruminated, lips pursed deep in thought. Expelling a deep sigh, she leaned over to collect her wine. “Today, Lilith.”

“I’m thinking!” she insisted, a playful knock at Zelda’s shoulder. Lying back into the couch, Lilith rested her head on the cushion and sent up a cheeky look. “Okay. Am I… the best lover you’ve ever had?”

Zelda had expected something similar by the wicked bent in her eyes. She bounced an eyebrow at her — bit at the rim of her glass and fogged it up with intrigue. “Certainly.”

Lilith’s head bobbed back a little, blinking doe eyes wide as apples. “Really? Of anyone?”

“Of course,” Zelda rattled off. She swallowed her drink and stretched up to set it aside. “You’ve got the experience of an ancient god, yet you deny yourself at every turn. I feel dwarfed at that, sometimes.”

She blushed at that, as though her skill in the bedroom were something shocking or shameful for her. A hint of sadness swam in her eyes, as if she knew she shouldn’t be so self-effacing — no, she did know. Zelda was sure of that.

Then a thought occurred to her, and Zelda narrowed her eyes. Her elbow burrowed into the cushions. “Well?”

“What?”

Zelda swept her hand. “Am I?”

“Are you what?”

“Don’t play coy, Lilith.”

“I can’t play anything right now!” Lilith insisted, starting up straight. Zelda averted her eyes, embarrassed; a nudge hit her arm. “Are you what?”

Called out and pinned down to stockings, Zelda had to sigh. She pushed down her blush and was out with it.

“Am I the best you’ve ever had?” she asked, only thanks to the alcohol and perhaps the cake clawing her words out of her throat. “Sexually?”

Lilith’s eyes lit up, blurred as they may have been. “Oh!”

“Yes.”

“Yes!” Lilith answered honestly,  _ passionately _ , and squeezed Zelda’s with her fervor. “Without question, love. By miles.”

“Well, thank you for finally saying it.”

“And I’ve had many,” she added with a glint in her eye — hinting at something, leaving a loose string to catch on Zelda’s nail. A smirk could not be beaten back.

“As have I,” Zelda admitted, bit her lip against smugness. Shifting on the couch to face Lilith head-on, she reached to take Lilith’s hand, to play with it absently. “Mm. How many would you say you’ve had, exactly?”

“Oh, thousands,” Lilith boasted without missing a beat, though her expression sharpened up in realization. “It was my turn!”

“ _ Thousands _ ?” Zelda asked, ears roaring a bit at that — not jealous, certainly — never that, but  _ something _ . The not-jealousy burned at her cheeks; she aimed to disguise it, reaching for her drink…

“More, even,” she continued, as if it were nothing, the four digits of lovers. “Satan pawned me off to every breathing thing. I can’t imagine how many I missed for sleeping.”

Zelda’s brow furrowed; her drink stopped, settled in her mouth and worked up a slight burn as Zelda forgot, for a second, to swallow. But she did, and grimaced at the slice down her throat. “What?”

“Hell, any estimate is useless. He’d send me off blindfolded sometimes — one could be two and ten could be five, for all I knew. My  _ exact  _ experience-”

“Lilith, what are you saying?” Zelda shot off, a bit shrill; so she caught a stroke on Lilith’s arm to counterbalance. Swallowing, she lowered her voice. “Was it… Did you want any of that?”

“No,” Lilith said with an unnatural ease, staring down at Zelda’s hand, eyes nearly crossed until she looked up. “Why?”

Her gaze was unfazed, gracious and innocuous, bouncing between each of Zelda’s eyes as if searching for some hint as to Zelda’s meaning, or intention. Zelda choked back the bitter taste,  _ hard _ , and prayed to no god that her anger wouldn’t show through.

“So you were… so Satan…”

“I was his servant,” Lilith explained patiently, and went for her drink. She settled one arm into the couch, shrugged the other. “I didn’t have to want it. It was my place.”

Lilith took a long sip and left Zelda in silence, to process this — to process the  _ easy fact  _ that Lilith had been  _ casually raped  _ by thousands of men over the course of her lifetime, and made to feel as though she was due that treatment — that Lilith could sit there under a spell, oath to hell below, and say it was her  _ place… _

“Lilith, that’s horrifying,” Zelda insisted, since Lilith didn’t seem to recognize that detail. “I  _ hate  _ it.”

“I did, too,” she said, numbly, like words ripped from somewhere deep down — words she hadn’t even thought yet. She hid behind her glass, voice echoing deep. “I’m… saying more than I mean.”

“That’s the fucking cake, Lilith,” Zelda muttered, rubbed her forehead in strain. “This… this was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

Lilith said nothing, but nodded her head in agreement.

Silence rolled over them like carpet, stifling them both underneath and swallowing their thoughts. Lilith stewed with legs crossed over Zelda, drink swirling in hand, eyes hazy with alcohol and magic. Zelda wanted to bundle her up and hide away with her, and maybe it was the alcohol, but she almost did.

“I wanted to tell you,” Lilith said in that same voice, forced and raw, scraping her throat. “I want to tell you lots of things, but I can’t.”

Zelda inhaled deeply, met her gaze — locked on it. She shouldn’t ask, since Lilith has no choice but to answer, but she does. “Why not?”

“Because you’ll hurt me with them,” she mumbled matter-of-factly, and peeked down into her glass. “Or you’ll leave me.”

Zelda’s jaw trembled at the mere idea. She battled back the instinct to barrel into Lilith, bury her in the couch and ruin her with kisses in some vain attempt to conquer her into trusting, to lavish her with so much love she couldn’t help but believe in it. But she exercised patience, instead, and started small…

Hand off the couch, she caught Lilith’s hair and stroked through it — let her fingers get lost in it, brown sugar trails swirling and winding and coiling in her grasp. Lilith rested her head against Zelda’s hand, eyes falling to a close, swamped in the sensation.

“I won’t leave you,” Zelda said with wretched conviction; and Lilith’s eyes peeked open, looking hopeful. She fisted into Lilith’s hair, but her hand trembled to relax again, forced. “And you  _ have _ to believe me in that now.”

“I’m trying to,” Lilith mumbled, eyes wandering along Zelda’s skin. “I promise I am, every day. Just… be patient with me, please. I can be better.”

And that was so unlike her — so quietly vulnerable, so heart-wrenchingly honest — that Zelda could hardly stand it. And all she could think was that she was lucky, and that Lilith was beautiful, and that this was all a mistake, to even open this door.

But they’d opened it. They’d cracked Pandora’s box, and for the next couple of hours, they were swimming in it.

* * *

The night rumbled on to a faint blue through the windows, and the magic was fading in every shade. Curtains fluttered with air conditioning; the fire had boiled down to embers, just snickering at them occasionally, the only noise in the silence. Darkness melted to light as though it had been hiding behind all along, just waiting for the two of them to settle down — and they did settle down, but just barely.

Their chests rose and fell in tandem, exhausted, slow breaths; they lay tossed out on the couch, Lilith’s face buried in Zelda’s side as she slunk down into the cushions. Swirling cycles, Zelda traced mindless patterns on Lilith’s arm, the pair of them sobering with every passing moment — the effects of the cake fading to fighting distance. No words were exchanged for quite a while, the spell unbroken, the lull preserved.

At least, it was until Zelda got her hands on the nerve… to ask.

“I have one more.”

That sank into the air like a stain, and Zelda let it happen. Lilith’s eyes were clamped shut, brow furrowed against Zelda’s ribs, almost shaking her head as if to ward off the world. Zelda wondered if she’d been heard — parted her lips to ask again, louder, but stopped short. She sighed to let it go.

“So do I.”

Zelda’s eyebrows leapt. A hand found her waist, pulled her tighter.

Swallowing, Zelda squeezed her shoulder. “You first.”

“No, you,” Lilith said through a yawn, head shaking against Zelda’s side. Her yawn capped off with a squeak. “Really. Go ahead.”

And Zelda almost barked up an argument — pushed Lilith to go first, so she could think over whether this was an appropriate question to ask. Truly, she knew that it wasn’t — none of these questions were appropriate at present, when neither of them could much refuse an answer.

And perhaps that equality, that free-for-all tug-of-war laid out between them, excused her behavior next.

“What are your nightmares like?” she asked, cut off the voice in her head telling her not to dare, not to put Lilith in that position. Moral judgment didn’t come easy to the drunk, tired, and enchanted.

“They’re- Z-” ground out of Lilith’s mouth like coal, as though she was warring tooth and nail to hold it back. “Zelda-”

“Please, tell me,” Zelda jumped in — studied the resistant expression where Lilith rose to face her. “You never tell me.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I want to know, Lilith,  _ please _ ,” came flooding from Zelda’s mouth, her honesty scalding in her throat. She redoubled her efforts; her head fell wayward in a soothing stare, hand crawling up to Lilith’s cheek. “You don’t have to, but Lilith…”

She didn’t have to do it, or anything, now; she was clearly capable of fighting the waning spell, better than either of them could fight the come of morning or the slow-sobering in their skin. But there was a hesitation, a reticence in Lilith’s demeanor — she wouldn’t say no, and she could. That was a choice, always, with Lilith.

Her silence deafening, Zelda took up the opportunity to speak in softer tones. “Just one — that recurring one. What happens?”

Lilith’s mouth opened instantly, but nothing came out, as if she were thinking over how to say it. Regret swam in her eyes, but Zelda paid it no mind.

“It’s dark,” Lilith began, hands fists in Zelda’s dress and chewing on her cheek. She looked down, as it seemed to be easier for her. “Usually downstairs, in the morgue, but sometimes just… nowhere. You’re there, with me.”

Zelda’s heart skipped a beat. She twitched a nervous smile, to know that Lilith dreamed of her.

“You’re not pleased,” Lilith explained, “with me.”

Zelda’s smiled faded.

Throat cleared, Lilith sat up on her elbow. “You take my hands, and you tell me to give myself, and I do. You tell me to undress, and I do. You tell me… not to fail you — to take the pain you give, and I swear I will.”

Blood chilled in Zelda’s veins. She fought the urge to ask what the hell she was meaning, half an idea of how this might go and sick to her stomach over it. “Lilith-”

“You hand me knives,” Lilith continued in a hollow voice, unable to stop now. “And I do as you please. You hand me needles, and I…”

Zelda clenched her teeth, tried to let her finish — screwed her eyes shut against the words, as though she could cut them to bits and throw them away. Even Lilith hesitated now, as if to hold back the words that forced their way out.

“You hand me your cigarettes, and tell me you love me, and I do as you please.” Drawing a shaky breath, Lilith looks up with shining eyes and a trembling jaw, though she paints it off with a smile. “And when I’m done, I’m at your knees in ribbons, and you’re dissatisfied…”

Anger burned behind Zelda’s eyes, moisture collecting there, but hardly tears — hardly what Lilith lost right now, sitting in her lashes. Zelda’s teeth ground, livid at nothing in particular; she grated a breath in, forced it out…

“And you send me away,” Lilith finished with a shrug. Her eyes averted themselves, down to the dwindling fireplace or something more distant. She sniffed. “That’s it. That’s all it is.”

Her image went shaky and blurry, but Zelda blinked that away, cleared her throat. “L-Lilith-”

“And it’s fine,” Lilith promised her — and she  _ meant  _ it, and that was the horrifying thing. She squeezed Zelda’s wrist in some kind of vapid reassurance. “It’s what you want, really, and it’s fine. I just want to give you what you want.”

“That’s not what I want,” Zelda shot back, sharp enough to cut her lip; she gripped Lilith’s shoulder, fought the urge to dig her nails in with stress. “How could you  _ think  _ that? I tell you-”

“I don’t-”

“- _ I tell you  _ that I care about you, and you hear- what, this? That I want you to  _ bleed _ ?”

Lilith shook her head, but didn’t say no, her choice — as though she couldn’t disagree — as though Zelda had hit the nail right on its narrow head. “I’m sorry.”

“-no, don’t-  _ don’t _ ,” Zelda refused her apology, ears thudding with her pulse. “It’s my fault. It’s…”

And Lilith cringed, as though something was hurting her — Zelda unclenched her fist, relaxed her grip on Lilith’s shoulder much too late. Lilith’s eyes opened, and there was genuine fear in plain sight, something Zelda should have seen before now…

And it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t hide this anymore; she wasn’t able, and not due to the cake.

“I hate this,” Zelda admitted, face fallen to the floor. She swiped hot tears away. “The cake, and the… I don’t want to play with it anymore.”

“Me neither,” Lilith mumbled, staring off somewhere far, in the corner. Zelda followed her gaze to the window — noticed the peek of orange sneaking through the curtains, cast on the walls, flickering on the floor.

It was late — early, rather. Their game was done.

“Why don’t we go to bed?” Zelda decided, careful to keep her voice gentle now that Lilith had found that fragile place. Wiping at her face, drying her eyes, Zelda let out a heavy sigh. “I’m exhausted.”

“Zelda?”

“Yes, love,” Zelda said through her hand, sniffling.

“I had one more.”

Her eyes cracked open at Lilith, who watched her considerately now, wet with tears and biting at her lip. Something snapped inside Zelda’s chest, and she couldn’t say no — never could say no to her.

“All right,” Zelda said, and relaxed back down. She nodded. “One more. Anything you like.”

That permission was all Lilith needed. She lowered her gaze to her lap, shy, and removed all contact from Zelda as though she’d been told to do so. Her hands became nervous on her legs, fingers playing at each other.

“Can you say,” she dared to ask, “that you love me?”

It was asked in a shaky voice, as though there were something impossible in this request. She wouldn’t make eye contact — wouldn’t even breathe as she waited, fidgeting in place, for Zelda to say something she’d always said with certainty.

Zelda’s whole being swelled with fresh love for her.

So Zelda sighed, not at her but at something; she took Lilith’s hands from her lap and held them close to her chest, warm and comforting, little pulses here and there reminding them both to  _ breathe _ .

“Lilith,” Zelda began, voice lowered to buzzy tones, and waited for Lilith to meet her eyes…

And when she did, Zelda smiled, in spite of everything.

“Eternally,” she said, and kissed Lilith’s hand, “impossibly, and embarrassingly much — I love you.”

That seemed to hit Lilith like a truck. Her chest jumped with a breath, finally inhaling, finally returning to earth. She took a moment to absorb that, and Zelda waited patiently as she did — played with Lilith’s hands, stroked thumbs over her wrists…

It was slow, but gradually so, Lilith melted into tears.

Her shoulders sank to sea level as she crumpled over, and Zelda tugged at her hands — reeled her into her arms, until Lilith fell over into her embrace. She shook with a sudden, guttural sob, wracking at her joins, and Zelda’s eyes widened; she held her tighter, shut her eyes and tried to keep her afloat as she sobbed with relief or fear or grief, or any combination of the three — as she was forced to face the fact that Zelda loved her.

And Zelda didn’t realize how much she doubted — how much needed to be explicitly, truthfully said — until this moment.

**Author's Note:**

> This one took a while, but ultimately, I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. The idea was born earlier this year, but I didn't think to actually write it until this week! It was fun to write something more dialogue-heavy for once :)
> 
> Thanks for reading <3 Leave a comment if you enjoyed!


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